JOKE:Only in America

[Cassandre]

Cassie sent this to me. She thought I'd like it. I did, and I thought you guys'd like it.

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering
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[insert witty comment]

[MissSecretAgent]

Haha, sure made me laugh! Thank you Cassandre
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I'm having a whipped cream-covered identity crisis

[Marx-Paragon]

my old man sent me these exact same jokes before, still hilarious though
god bless the US
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marx's four step guide to being popular in the fandom

1 draw boobs
2 make comics
3 cuase drama
4 repeat

[Jerin Nekros]

ah sweet delicious Irony
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My Fursona(updates occasionally) http://forums.pleasurebonbon.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=7537
"Revenge is a dish that is best served cold. It is very cold in space." - Khan (Ricardo Montalban) Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

[Cassandre]

Hehe, I thought you guys'd like this. Cassie gets a ton of jokes every day from Comedy Central (?) and she'll send the ones she thinks I'll like to me.

Your welcome poeple, who liked it. *^^*
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[insert witty comment]

[Poecilotheria_27]

Thats funny, they're all very true

[Cassandre]

Thank you.

I have a question though. She told me she gets these from "Comedy Central", but I don't really know what it is..
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[insert witty comment]

[Ashton Gray]

Comedy Central is a television channel devoted to varying and increasingly insane forms of comedy. Though, your friend probably meant to go to their website, www.comedycentral.com
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Silentium est aurum

[JohnnyPsycho]

That list is much funnier if you read it with Yakov Smirnov's voice in mind... "What a country!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4y5hEKfxm4M
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yakov_Smirnoff
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Johnny's Fanfics (including Sureshot! A Bon Bon Tale)

Johnny's backstory
Johnny, Mark II (Project Aten character)

[Cassandre]

Thank you, Ashton.

And I'll look those up, Johnny.
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[insert witty comment]

[Ashton Gray]

You're welcome.
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Silentium est aurum

[Cassandre]

*^^*

*hugs Ashton*
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[insert witty comment]

[Ashton Gray]

*hugs back* One can never have enough hugs.
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Silentium est aurum

[Cassandre]

I know, right?
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[insert witty comment]