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ShadowFox13
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 Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 1:36 pm Post subject: I need help writing my story, please... |
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I’m currently writing a story about a trio of mercenaries who from an unlikely source change for the better (internally, they remain “hired hands” throughout the entire story) after almost falling apart.
It is still in its early developmental stages (i.e. missing details, misspelling, grammatical errors, ect.). I try to correct them when I find them however I’m in deployment for the US Army so my time I have to write is very limited.
I would be forever grateful for any help given, be it ideas for missions, characters (any type main, background, ect. I would be happy to include any fursonas that anyone wants to have added), I would love the help of proofreaders to help me fix errors or suggest corrections and even additions.
For those interested here is some information:
ShadowFox: a fox and experienced mercenary who is the unofficial leader of the trio
Coloring: majority jet black fur with crimson red and white accents (all dyed and explained in story)
KrystalBlaze: a vixen that is unsure of her feelings about ShadowFox (needs more character development). The second mercenary
Coloring: cerulean blue and white fur and cobalt blue hair
Ordo: an ex-spec. ops. human (at the moment) soldier and friends to ShadowFox. The third mercenary
Thank you for any help and/or support
Joshua “ShadowFox” Conley
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JohnnyPsycho
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| Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:04 pm Post subject: |
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What sort of setting is the story? In other words, would it be historical, modern, or futuristic? Would it incorporate fantasy elements, or maybe some sci-fi? Would all the action take place on a reasonably familiar Earth, or some far off distant world? Sometimes the where and when is just as important as the who...
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ShadowFox13
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| Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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It is a modern kind of setting with some futuristic aspects of it. locations are all Earth based however i don't have any specific locations in mind yet.
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JohnnyPsycho
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ShadowFox13
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| Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:38 pm Post subject: |
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At the moment there are both kinds of environments.
It opens in a remote wooded location, the next part I have in mind is in the mountians, and I have it ending in an urban firefight.
This story was different than my others, well for many reasons but mostly because I knew how it ends before I knew how to start it or even to work up to that point.
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ShadowFox13
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| Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:59 pm Post subject: |
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REMOVED
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Last edited by ShadowFox13 on Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:59 am; edited 1 time in total |
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Tearlach
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| Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 1:26 am Post subject: |
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If I may make a few suggestions for your story. Perhaps you could make more of the fact that as animals/morphs the characters have more sensitive senses then humans. Sharper eyesight, when not handicapped with glasses, better hearing, canides being more sensitive to higher pitched sounds and of course the sense of smell being of greater importance then taste or sight.
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ShadowFox13
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| Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 1:30 am Post subject: |
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| Tearlach wrote: | | If I may make a few suggestions for your story. Perhaps you could make more of the fact that as animals/morphs the characters have more sensitive senses then humans. Sharper eyesight, when not handicapped with glasses, better hearing, canides being more sensitive to higher pitched sounds and of course the sense of smell being of greater importance then taste or sight. |
That is a very useful and helpful idea. Thank you.
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Tearlach
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ShadowFox13
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| Posted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 1:44 am Post subject: |
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| Tearlach wrote: | Sorry,  one more thing in your story you refer to the Collie character's "snout" which is more in keeping with reference to a pig or similar animal. Perhaps muzzle would be a better discription. |
*Smacks head*
How did I completely overlook that? Wow, now I feel like an idiot. I need to change the other two's descriptions as well.
Things like this are the reason that I ask for help.
Thanks again
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ShadowFox13
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Tearlach
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ShadowFox13
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| Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 2:47 am Post subject: |
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| Tearlach wrote: | I have read the first chapter, very good indeed.   |
Thank you. 
I was starting to get the impression that it sucked because no one was saying anything about it
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Tearlach
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ShadowFox13
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| Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 8:53 am Post subject: |
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| Tearlach wrote: | At least they haven't said it sucks.   |
 That is very true. 
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ShadowFox13
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| Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 2:15 am Post subject: |
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I have noticed that for some odd reason Ch. 1 & 3 both have the same number of views but Ch 2 only has half that number.
Can anyone shed some light on that one?
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