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mtsnuffy
Rank: Casual


Joined: 12 Feb 2005
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 2:55 pm    Post subject: Clinton jokes Reply with quote

Why did Clinton stop blowing his saxophone? He just wants to blow his hormonica.

What are Clinton's Final 4 Picks?
1- Oral Roberts
2- Ball State
3- Brigham Young
4- Morehead State
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Ronald
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Joined: 18 Oct 2003
Posts: 3670

PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 2:59 pm    Post subject: Re: Clinton jokes Reply with quote

mtsnuffy wrote:
Why did Clinton stop blowing his saxophone? He just wants to blow his hormonica.


LOL Now that is funny! I had to say it out loud to get the joke. "whore monica" Good one!
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Down South
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Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Posts: 206

PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 4:43 pm    Post subject: --- Reply with quote

Good ones...

While not presidential here are some college football jokes...Bama and Auburn fans approve...


You're probably an Auburn fan if ...
... You can play the Auburn fight song using your armpit.
... Your wife's idea of cleaning house is throwing everything out into the yard.
... The Roto-Rooter man stops by your trailer and asks, "What's that smell?"
... You're a member of the Skoal Frequent Purchaser Program.
... You looked up your family tree and your uncle spit on you.
... You joined Alcoholics Anonymous so you can drink and use a different name.
... You looked out for #1 and stepped in #2!!!
... You won't buy a Japanese car because you're afraid you won't understand what they say on the radio.
... Your kids go to a private school and they won't tell you where it is.
... Your Granny beats you in the tobacky spittin' contests.

An Auburn fan and an Alabama fan both go over to Tunica to do a little gambling. After a couple of hours the Alabama fan was broke. He looks over and sees the Auburn fan with a wheel barrel full of quarters. The Alabama fan walks over to him and says, "Wow, where did you win all that?" To which the Auburn fan replies, "You see that machine on the wall over there? If you put a dollar in you get four quarters back every time!"

What's the difference between a University of Alabama sorority sister and a scarecrow?
One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.

A man walks into a store says to the clerk, "I'd like a pair of red shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white shoes." The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, "You must be an Alabama fan!" The man proclaims with pride, "How could you tell, was it the color scheme!" The clerk looks at him and says, "No, this is a hardware store."

A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Auburn joke. The bartender says, "Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I'm an Auburn fan. See that guy at the end of the bar? He's 6-4 and weighs 250 and he's an Auburn fan, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He's 6-6 and weighs 280 and he's an Auburn fan, too! Now, do you still want to tell your Auburn joke?" The guy says, "Nah." To which the bartender smiles and says, "What's the matter? Are you chicken?" The guy says, "Nah. I just don't want to have to explain it three times."

What is the most common line used by an Auburn alum?
Would you like fries with that?

What do you call a genius at Alabama?
Visitor.

It was recently announced that a franchise was building a new Taco Bell in Tuscaloosa. The University's response was "Why do we need another phone company?"

What is the difference between a litter of puppies and Alabama fans?
The puppies stop whining after 6 weeks. (This is so freakin’ true…)

A Bama alum, a Tennessee alum and an Auburn alum have been captured by Iraqi forces and are about to be executed by firing squad. First, the Bama alum is blindfolded and placed in front of the firing squad. The Iraqi officer said, "Ready, aim...." The Bama alum yells "Sandstorm!" and all the Iraqis hit the dirt and the Bama alum runs away. The Tennessee guy was placed in front of the firing squad. The officer said "Ready, aim...” The Tennesseean shouted " Tornado!!!!". All the Iraqis again hit the dirt while the Volunteer escaped. The auburn guy thought this was great. When he was blindfolded, again the officer shouted "Ready, aim...." The Aubie shouted, "FIRE!"

An Alabama offensive lineman who doesn't hold, a humble Florida Gator, and Santa Claus all checked into the same hotel. As they entered the elevator, they spotted a $50 bill on the floor. Who ended up with the money and why? Answer: Santa Claus - the other two aren't real!

What do they put on the bottoms of Coke bottles at Auburn?
Please open other end.

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Danie
Rank: Junior Member


Joined: 02 Feb 2005
Posts: 115

PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2005 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What does a Tennessee fan do after a victory?

Wish it was his team that won.


Danie

P.S. War Eagle!!!!
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